Member-only story
Having Constant Low-Level Anxiety Is Exhausting
It’s hard to embrace returning to ‘normal’ when everything feels even harder
A few months ago, from a safe distance, I took my mask off in front of a colleague I hadn’t seen for over a year. I watched as their eyes searched my face and eventually landed on the mass of acne covering my chin and cheeks.
I immediately wanted to put the mask back on to cover myself up and hide away in that small moment. Even though I know they weren’t judging me, I felt the doubt start to creep in.
As I went about my day, I couldn’t stop thinking about my skin and how others might perceive me if they saw me without a mask on. Every time I saw a colleague from that point on, the mask stayed firmly on and only came off if I was eating or drinking.
This is just one example of low level, beneath the surface anxiety I feel daily. After spending a year not having to deal with it — it’s now biting back with a brutal force. Every day there’s something that almost cripples me. Part of me does wonder if it’s all creeping up to a breaking point.
On the surface, it’s probably not noticeable. But these small incidents are starting to add up. My sleep is irregular if I get any, and I can’t get through a whole day worry-free. There’s always…
